Monday, 1 June 2015

Just leave them be!

Now I haven't posted about Google in a bit, that usually means that things are going along smoothly ,it certainly doesn't mean his autism is cured.

That message was brought forcefully home the other day when I read a blog post written by a usually humorous and  lighted hearted father of an autistic boy . He is currently going through one of those 'dips' that we all come across with our children every now and again.

I've being dealing with autism long enough now to know that you get through them but I also know how draining it can be for all those involved at the deepest point.

We are at the stage with Google where we have learned to leave him to his own devices most of the time. He is happiest that way.Every so often he will come downstairs to sit with the family to watch television or to eat tea but generally he is at his happiest sat upstairs in his bedroom playing on the Xbox or the computer or reading books.

It wouldn't be my choice for him.I would much rather he spent his days camping or playing sport like his siblings but that's just not what he wants to do.

The other day we decided that we would take the train up the west coast of Cumbria to Carlisle. On a sunny day it's a beautiful ,if somewhat lengthy journey up the coast following the coast line of the North Sea through Ravensglass (famed for its miniature railway) the georgian town of Whitehaven and St Bees

Google was invited to come with us and , after weighing up the alternatives, decided he would come. With one hour to spare he changed his mind. Part of me was relieved as I had visions of him refusing to get on the train when it arrived on the platform, leaving my daughter and myself stranded ,unable to go. Another part of me was sad that he couldn't handle the change and challenge of the unknown.
If his dad had been with us he could have handled it but he doesn't feel secure unless we are all there and that wasn't possible.

It was interesting what I noticed as we travelled north. The train had incredibly squeaky brakes as we came into stations. In fact the noise hurt our ears, the passengers wore really strong perfume which made my daughter and I cough and sneeze as we suffer from asthma,and when we arrived in Carlisle the shops were busy and crowded and it was windy.All these things would have made the day out unbearable for my son and we would have had to deal with the consequences.

Home education has lessened all the sensory issues which he would have had to deal with from day to day but they are still there. Fortunately we can introduce Google to them gradually rather than force them on him before he is ready. Hopefully that will make his life easier and lessen the likelihood of depression or mental illness which so many of our Autistic children face. I hope so.

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