Just leave them be!

Now I haven't posted about Google in a bit, that usually means that things are going along smoothly ,it certainly doesn't mean his autism is cured.

That message was brought forcefully home the other day when I read a blog post written by a usually humorous and  lighted hearted father of an autistic boy . He is currently going through one of those 'dips' that we all come across with our children every now and again.

I've being dealing with autism long enough now to know that you get through them but I also know how draining it can be for all those involved at the deepest point.

We are at the stage with Google where we have learned to leave him to his own devices most of the time. He is happiest that way.Every so often he will come downstairs to sit with the family to watch television or to eat tea but generally he is at his happiest sat upstairs in his bedroom playing on the Xbox or the computer or reading books.

It wouldn't be my choice for him.I would much rather he spent his days camping or playing sport like his siblings but that's just not what he wants to do.

The other day we decided that we would take the train up the west coast of Cumbria to Carlisle. On a sunny day it's a beautiful ,if somewhat lengthy journey up the coast following the coast line of the North Sea through Ravensglass (famed for its miniature railway) the georgian town of Whitehaven and St Bees

Google was invited to come with us and , after weighing up the alternatives, decided he would come. With one hour to spare he changed his mind. Part of me was relieved as I had visions of him refusing to get on the train when it arrived on the platform, leaving my daughter and myself stranded ,unable to go. Another part of me was sad that he couldn't handle the change and challenge of the unknown.
If his dad had been with us he could have handled it but he doesn't feel secure unless we are all there and that wasn't possible.

It was interesting what I noticed as we travelled north. The train had incredibly squeaky brakes as we came into stations. In fact the noise hurt our ears, the passengers wore really strong perfume which made my daughter and I cough and sneeze as we suffer from asthma,and when we arrived in Carlisle the shops were busy and crowded and it was windy.All these things would have made the day out unbearable for my son and we would have had to deal with the consequences.

Home education has lessened all the sensory issues which he would have had to deal with from day to day but they are still there. Fortunately we can introduce Google to them gradually rather than force them on him before he is ready. Hopefully that will make his life easier and lessen the likelihood of depression or mental illness which so many of our Autistic children face. I hope so.

An Autistic Christmas -14 years on!

Well Christmas is over for 2014 and I've been able to reflect on how far we have come over the last fourteen years.

We've just returned from a week away in Scotland. It's the first time since Google was born that we've been away at Christmas. He knew where were going but he wasn't looking to the change in routine. Even the promise of a trip to see The Hobbit failed to convince him.


As I've discovered on previous trips away, all the sensory difficulties seemed to melt away.Although he took his ear defenders as props, Google  never needed them.He ate plenty of food, swam, played Pool and generally participated in the family banter.

As is usual on holiday, we had one 'sick day' when the anxiety and anticipation got too much and he didn't feel well but that was hardly surprising as he'd managed to endure the hoards of Christmas shoppersin Glasgow, together with the bombardment of carols and twinkly lights.In fact, to my surprise he later managed to endure an hour in the boxing day sales without any complaint or melt down and just walked quietly to the doors of the shop when it proved too much.

None of these 'steps forward' have been 'taught'  through 'forcing' him 'to have a go'. Quite the opposite in fact. We have listened to him, watched his body language and respected his anxiety and fear. In allowing him to be himself Google has learned to trust us with his fear and knows that we will take him seriously.
It has been one of the best Christmases we have had and we came back feeling really relaxed and ready to face the world again!

Flexibility and the link to Stress with our Aspergers Children

Yesterday we went to KFC for my son.Whilst it goes against all my ideas of healthy eating it got my son out the house and that is just as important for his well being as when we venture out we find new things to discuss and learn about.

My son sat in the car with his set of history books which I bought a few weeks ago. When I first gave them to him he gave them a cursory glance and turned back to his computer but I have learned to just STREW and watch what happens. For the second time this week he asked where they were, tucked them under his arm and got into the car. He spent the whole journey, there and back, just reading.

It took us a while but my son has learned that reading is a strategy he can use to 'block out the world' when it becomes too much for him. It's a socially acceptable way of 'not speaking to people' and it suits me too because I know he's learning.

As he walked to the car I thought he'd forgotten his ear defenders but no,they were safely tucked around his neck in case he needed them ( which as it happened, he didn't)

Whilst he sat eating his lunch I suggested that I would pop over to the pound shop to buy his sister some sweets as she was going to the cinema with a friend that evening. "Would you mind if I left you a minute ." I asked.

His face crumpled slightly and his lip began to wobble, "OR we can both go together when you've finished your lunch?" I suggested.

"I'd prefer that" he said.

So that's what we did and we managed to go into the cinema to book tickets and pick up a catalogue too.

Now whilst that may not seem like much to parents of neuro typical children we have come a long way since the days of being physically unable to get out the car, never mind go to the cinema. I've learned to follow my son's lead and instead of having a list of places I had to go (which granted was bigger when he was too young to leave at home) I choose two or three and go in the exact same order as my list. It used to take a bit of discipline on my part as I'm easily distracted and very sociable but this is far preferable than sitting in car parks trying to coax your son into the car or trying to stop him opening the car door in mid journey and throwing himself out.

I can smile about it now but it wasn't funny at the time I can tell you!

If we remove the stress from our children then they are more willing and able to comply and will in
fact do far more things that you want them to do rather than continually oppose you and fight.

The key is to remember is that they are not deliberately being naughty, they are anxious and scared and if you watch and listen to them you'll be surprised what they will teach you.

Peace in our Time!

I have to keep my eye on the ball. change happens slowly and subtlety in an autistic household.In the last few weeks it has been an increase the range of food my son will eat.Beans on toast (as long as they're Heinz) - I haven't dared tell him he got a mix of brands the other day,Emmental and bavarian ham toastie,smooth fresh orange juice. I know it's down to his mood but it's lovely to see him eating something healthy for a change!

Even the tin of chocolates my daughter won at a raffle is still half full and has been for weeks. Either that means that before I started my healthy life style change I ate all the chocolates or, by me concentrating on eating healthy food it's affecting the whole family!

Another thing I noticed last night was that, after waiting an hour for someone to get his pudding for him, my son finally decided it wasn't going to happen and, having asked my how many slices the chocolate cake would cut into,he cut himself a slice,added ice cream and came through having made himself his pudding!

I have to say,I never thought I'd see the day.He will generally do without rather than make himself some food. Many's the time he will pop downstairs after we've all made ourselves a sandwich for lunch and asked "What's for Dinner?"

The lack of motivation to eat, is in some part due to his intensity of concentration when he is building something on Minecraft or flying a virtual aeroplane which will crash if he leaves it. There is however another aspect, an anxiety or not knowing 'where to start'. I have stood over him many times, instructing him how to make a hot chocolate,or use the ice cream scoop or cut a slice of bread and wondered for how much longer my intelligent fourteen year old will still need that support. The answer I think will be whenever he is feeling insecure.

At the moment his mood is buoyant and he is willing to go out (in moderation), will have a bath when asked and will eat foods he would previously have rejected. I am enjoying the peaceful life,long may it last!

Ugly Duckling or Beautiful Swan?

According to my son (Aspergers with Oppositional Defiant disorder) I have OCD. All because I tried to interest him in some stamps which I bought at a car boot sale the other day in an effort to motivate him.

In fact they were fascinating. As I sorted them into groups I found a set on the American Presidents which links in with the jigsaw, books and films about American history which I have stealthily introduced over the last few months.There were stamps of film stars, flying pioneers, landscapes. animals and plants and several people I have never heard of. A  great conversation starter for the price of  a pound!

Apparently stamps are 'boring' and 'old fashioned'. Or at least they were until my son learned that his Grandad used to buy mint sets of stamps which may be quite valuable now. Ah then his ears pricked up!

I wonder ,with the privatisation of the Post office whether stamp collections will become a thing of the past?We will have to see.Certainly they will be antiques  I found a stamp in my British collection franked 1932 bearing the head of King George. There is so much to be gained from studying stamps- history, science , biology, geography, even art.

I have not given up. I have painstakenly put my stamps in order in my stamp album and will wait and see what happens.

It is interesting to observe how my son learns when he is ready. He has been building a Japanese building on Minecraft and, a book which he rejected several days ago about buildings from around the world suddenly came into it's own when designing an original piece of architecture. He read an extract out loud too. Not a simple children's book but a non fictional adult account of Japan with extensive specialist terms and vocabulary.

 You just never know when he will be inspired- it's just a question of continually providing new resources and watching what happens. I refuse to give up or be down hearted or to worry about the fact 'that we are not doing enough'.If my son was at school I am acutely aware that the teachers would spend most of the time 'managing' his behaviour, which would be exaggerated due to his sensory difficulties with noise and lights.

 Sensory problems are such a huge part of autism and often not recognised.If my son withdraws into himself or suffers a melt down and explodes he will not learn.He will be excluded from school, as with so many other autistic pupils or put in isolation- exactly the thing that he most craves so that he no longer has to deal with the over stimulation of senses which he has to deal with at school. The noise and smells in the dining room, the bright lights in the classroom with their continuous buzzing, the school bell and the fire alarms.It is all a terrifying prospect.Oh and course there are the teachers who don't understand autism. Those that bully, or shout or punish children for not being organised- all of which could have been avoided if knowledge and understanding of the individual child had been there.

At home my son is settled and  happy.He joins in family conversations, comments on documentaries, films and the news. In fact he has valid views on most things . He is not stupid or dumb. In fact far from it. He is far above average intelligence and often makes us take a step back with the things that he knows. He will turn into an individual with his own opinions and ideas,untainted by the views of others, having reached his own point of view through research and reasoning. I am happy to watch him grow and to nurture his individuality.He will not end up 'a failure of the system' but as a success who overcame it.

Oh we do like to be beside the Seaside (but only when it's quiet!)

Yesterday evening, after the crowds had gone and the temperature had cooled, we spent two hours down on the beach,playing and taking in the view. It was one of those a rare special moments (which only the parent of an autistic child could understand) when my autistic son asked to come with us. 
Free of crowds and noise he played happily with his sister and I captured the  moment with the camera.

This is what life was like for him only a few years ago and I realised that it can be like that again in the future  if only we tailor the world around him and plan our activities for the 'quiet times'.

He loves the company of his siblings- it makes him feel secure and that is why he finds outings so much harder when they are at school.He misses social contact- but only a little bit.That's why the X box plays such an important part in his life. Sadly he doesn't feel able to join in the activities put on for autistic children at the moment - he has a fixed idea in his head as what they will be like!

We have had so many fewer 'grumpy' days since we followed his 'rhythm'- we have no expectation or demands and understand that when he says 'I don't know' he often actually means 'you choose'.
His sleep patterns are still irregular but he is sleeping less during
 the day- giving him time to go out and play or talk to his siblings
.
I heard the slap,slap slap of wellies the other day as I tended the front garden. My son, donned in red ear defenders walked passed the gate and waved at me. He had decided to walk to his friends over the road to ask if he could play. That hasn't happened in a long time - he normally waits for his friend to come here! I didn't see him again for three hours.Such a small thing to people who don't understand but for the parent of an Autistic child a massively SMILEY event!

Autism, the weather and changing behaviours

Heatwave in July 2013

Well we are officially going through a heatwave here in Cumbria and it's been interesting to see how my son has coped. So many autistic children struggled to regulate their temperature and my son quite frequently wears his anorak on the hottest of days!
Thankfully we are lucky. If anything the hot weather entices him out of the house more- not far you understand, but into the garden to play with the dogs, nip out for a quick trampoline or a water game and into the house again. He's also enjoyed our family barbecues when the evenings were cooler.
Only the other day we were the only customers at KFC on our weekly outing and he sat in the car,sweat pouring down his face but he didn't complain.
Whilst drinking enough is usually an issue I notice he does keep himself topped up- it's just a pity he doesn't wash up his glasses afterwards- there is a trail round the house.
It is important to watch our children - for many they struggle with this hot weather and it can lead to melt down. Whilst we celebrate the coming of summer they are stuck in airless, stifling buildings, unable to go out or when they do they are inappropriately dressed.
Leaving cold drinks around or making ice lollies can help ( a great science lesson on changing materials), leaving curtains closed, explaining clearly and scientifically how the body regulates itself through sweating and pointing out what others are wearing in the hopes they will follow suit.
Weather is so closely related to the sensory issues our children experience that it is worthwhile paying close attention as it may well be a reason for their behaviours.
 Fortunately for us the hot weather is not a major issue but there are children who will not leave the house if it's windy because it 'hurts' them or they don't like getting wet - don't underestimate how influential it is upon our childrens' moods.
 I would love to hear of others experiences and any tips which they have which may be of use to others during this period of hot weather. Parent's are by far the most useful source of advice!

Look and Learn - Autistic strategies

It's a while since I found myself stalking my son as he stomped across the car park. I'd taken him to the cafe with his brother for a treat - a drink and cake (he told me later he wasn't expecting it) then I found myself in the cafe- him banging his head on the table and me trying to avoid the disappointment that yet again he was 'spoiling' our outing.

I know it's not intentional and I cope better now - it's not so embarassing although I do admit to feeling on edge at what might happen next. My eldest son and I moved to a quiter table in the corner but my youngest son refused to move rocking backwards and forwards, head in hands.

I watched him from a distance, explained the problem to the waitresses and asked her to leave him alone - she was lovely.Even the people in the cafe didn't outwardly stare at what was obviously a child in distress or make sarcastic comments in my hearing.

Anyway he stood up and walked out the cafe into the rain. I left him to it but my heart pounded as I imagined what might happen. Our drinks hadn't arrived and with the benefit of older son in attendance I left him at the table whilst I walked out into the rain in my short sleeved T shirt. My son was sitting in a puddle next to the car so I went over and unlocked the car and invited him to get in. He just got up and walked further away and as I followed he got faster. He ended up behind the recycling skips in a bramble patch!

Heart in my mouth I turned tail and walked back into the cafe as I watched him walk towards the entrance to the car park.Back at the cafe my eldest son told me to ignore him (which is easier said than done) A crafty look through the window showed that he had turned round and was making his way back. He came back to the cafe and sat down, rocking backwards and forwards with head in hands. totally overwhelmed by the atmosphere. I gobbled down my tiffin, slurped half a cup of coffee and left my eldest to finish his hot chocolate and rocky road.

I told my Autistic son I was going back to the car and walked out ,not first without grabbing his cola (thank fully in a bottle) and chocolate muffin. He slowly got up and followed me to the car, climbed in and wrapped himself up in his sleeping bag , which he takes every where with him. We sat quietly and waited for his brother who was obviously frustrated and annoyed that we couldn't just enjoy our treats like 'normal' people.

My son sat in the car, cola in hand and muffin on lap and ,as his stress began to decrease I noticed that he began to nibble on the muffin and drink his coke.

"Where are we going now" he asked?

"Home son", I answered.

He was calm now and as we drove home a little voice behind me said 'sorry mummy'.

'Don't be sorry, you're not in trouble, what went wrong?'

'The cafe was noisy and I didn't know I was going' he said

'Oh well, we're learning together then , you learned how to walk away without knocking over tables and getting violent and I learned not to surprise you even though I thought I was treating you. Oh and next time ,if you walk away I won't follow you, you'll just have to come back when you are ready and I'll stay and drink my coffee. Agreed?'

'Sounds like a plan',he smiled.

Into the Future - Uncharted waters for Aspergers!

One of the reasons I blog is to remind myself just how far my son has come since we began home education.

 Only months ago he was afraid to leave the house or had a meltdown if I showed signs of leaving (even to walk the dog) all because he was afraid that a high speed jet was going to crash into the house. It sounds extreme, but when you have sensitive hearing then the sound of a jet passing up the estuary (which has a tendency to make you jump out your skin) must be like Chicken Licken and the sky falling in! That went on throughout the winter months, I was stuck in the house and my only respite was when my mum came to babysit each week so I could do the weekly supermarket shop.

This morning I have popped out to do the shopping leaving him happily at home and yesterday I went to an National Autistic Society meeting and he didn't bat an eyelid.We haven't forced him to go out, we haven't laughed at his phobia of planes, instead we've looked at why the jets need to train. Funnily enough they didn't worry him when we were on Anglesey this year because RAF Vallee was nearby and he 'expected them' so it appears to be fear of the unexpected.

It was the jets which led us to introduce ear defenders which he now takes everywhere with him, we have also set up emergency arrangements for when I'm out. My son never answers the phone or the door so we have an old mobile phone on standby and he knows if that rings it can only be me. We also have a list of important numbers next to the home phone and for additional security have programmed them into the mobile so that if he's anxious he can ring me. He has only done it once to see what time I was coming home. 

All theses skills will I hope help him to live independently as an adult. I suspect he will need support but at least we will have some idea because of our observations now, of the support he needs.So many people believe that an obviously  intelligent child with Aspergers can be self sufficient. To an extent they can if the right provision is in place.Sadly all too often it is not.

I am teaching my son to be aware of his difficulties and to ask for help. I've mentioned before that we currently have issues with  food. He is eating enough but if I go out he just sits there until I come home rather than get himself something to eat.The other day I made up a packed lunch and put it on the side before going out. I told my son to help himself if he felt hungry. Sure enough when I came back he had eaten - a useful tip from another mum who has been there before me! 

So things do change, sometimes they get better, sometimes they're just different and you have to set about learning again.One thing's for sure, if your child is happy, and your family is happy then you are using the right strategies and your child is less likely to have mental health difficulties in the future.

Food, Glorious Food - Not if you're Autistic!

Pancakes provide calcium and protein

I've just finished making pancakes.It's something my son eats and , from my perspective, has some nutritional value in the eggs and milk it contains.

It's not always easy to find the right food. This morning when I came downstairs, my son, who had been up all night , said he was hungry and would like some toast. What he meant was pre-sliced processed toast. When I told him that we only had fresh bread left but I could toast a couple of slices he replied that he only liked 'square toast'. 

This isn't at all unusual with Autistic children.The other day we were at Grandmas' for Roast dinner. After pudding she handed out some peppermint creams which had been a Christmas gift telling us all that they were from M and S. After a few minutes Grandma noticed that my son hadn't yet eaten his mint.

" Don't you like it she asked?"

 " No", he replied,  "I don't like M and S!

What he meant was that he doesn't like the smell of the M and S stores, in fact he refuses to set foot in them,  and that had effected his decision not to eat the sweet. If Grandma hadn't mentioned where the sweet was from then he would no doubt have eaten it.

Only last night I made lasagne. I usually use a jar of white sauce. but our stocks were out so I made my own. My son loves lasagne but when I gave out the plates he refused to eat his because it 'looked different'. Feeding my son can be frustrating - What he likes one day he will hate the next!

Some Autistic children will stop eating a particular food simply because the packaging  or a minor ingredient has changed . Re-branding can be a nightmare for parents of autistic children!

I also have to remind my son to drink. He can go all day without drinking anything and despite being warned it could lead to kidney infections it doesn't seem to make any difference. If I ask my son if he wants a drink and he says'I don't know' that generally means he will drink it. It is only if he says 'no' that I know there is no point giving him one.

In discussion with friends, I've learned that there are dealing with similar issues.. Some children don't like lumps and will physically vomit if they find one in their food. Others will eat the middle, but not the end of a banana.

Vitamin powder in orange juice and drinks like Complan can add essential vitamins and minerals if your child will eat them, We have found that my son enjoys Nesquik milkshake. One thing I'm sure about though is that it doesn't help to make a big issue of it. If the only thing your child will eat is Mars bars then it is no good banning them, you are purely removing one more foodstuff from your child's already limited diet'

 Some children eat the same thing day in and day out. We are fairly lucky my son loves spicy food and will eat curries, chinese meals and spicy chicken. Other children will only eat bland food like pasta and noodles- so there is no fixed rule. You just have to suck it and see! One of the most helpful books I have found on the subject so far is Can't Eat, Won't Eat by Brenda Legge. Her son would only eat Kit Kats which can be a problem if school bans chocolate from the childrens' lunch boxes!
If anyone has experience of some simple foods which have been successful with their Autistic child then please feel free to share them in the comments section. You may be providing another parent with a life line!

A Square Peg in a Round Hole!

I'll have this one Mum!

Aww isn't he cute!

Whenever I go out I take my camera with me. It helps me to get a better view of life.Even on grim dark days when the rain is lashing down there is the potential to see something beautiful like the heron which swooped up in front of me from the brook or the fossils on the beach.Even the snow in the crook of the tree branches can create a good picture or the swirl of the water in the stream.

It started as a way of recording our home education. Every year I have a report to prepare for the Local authority to enable them to check that I am educating my son in accordance with his 'age and ability'. Although I also have a journal, the photos often bring activities vividly to mind, like the January morning in Scotland when we crunched our way through the snow to a farming museum. It was term time and the museum was virtually empty so the lady curator had all the time in the world to talk to us about how the farm had developed in Victorian times. or the day we lay on the grass in the sunshine studying a mole as it used it's legs like shovels to tunnel itself into the soft soil.

Although there is the option to have a visit from a home education officer, for many Autistic children  the mere thought of a visit by a stranger can cause extreme anxiety and my son is no exception. The very mention of anyone at all linked to the education system would  bring back memories of his time at school . His reaction to strangers can be unpredicatble to say the least. If stressed my son can become completely mute and seem to be unable to reply. He has explained that his senses are overwhelmed and it's as though he is in a bubble. He can see peoples lips moving but is unable to hear them.

To anyone with little knowledge of autism he can seem rude and unresponsive. At other times he can become abusive and violent if confronted or pushed.We were in the dentist surgery one day and my son was waiting in the reception area. The receptionist arrived after I had been taken in to see the dentist so was unaware of my son's condition. She started to pass the time of day with him and was told in no uncertain terms not to talk to him. By the time I came out he was quite agitated as she had continued to ask questions in an attempt to ascertain if he was a patient.

Then there are the times when my son's disability is completely hidden. Times when he is comfortable in his own skin because he is accepted for who he is and he knows it. We have friends who don't push him, don't question him and don't confront him. With them he is a happy, chatty little boy. When we went to buy our puppy earlier this year he was so excited that he happily chatted with the owner, explaining he was autistic and home educated. Learning about the kennel club and reading Rusty's family tree he came back home having learned without being 'taught' because he was happy and ready to listen. That's how it is with him- if you manage the stress then the learning will come.Unfortunately the school environment, with it's noise and lack of routine was never the right place for him to learn. There was too much to overwhelm him and he needed the one to one support that home education can bring That's why it has been so successful,we are changing the environment to suit the child,not the child to suit the environment.

Learning as we go!

We  had a breakthrough this week. My son suffers panic attacks which have become more severe since he reached puberty. Trips out have become rarer and rarer.My son started to panic if i left the house to such an extent that I have to work my trips round my husband, Shopping trips to the supermarket with my son were abandoned months ago when he began to suffer meltdowns once in the supermarket.E ven getting out the house to go somewhere he wants to go can take ages just getting out the door he is so anxious.
Yesterday however he asked if he could come with us to Morrisons and eat in the cafe! Simply asking to come made me take a sharp intake of breath.I spoke to my daughter and pre-warned her that he might not make it and we planned a get out clause so he wouldn't feel a failure. I fully expected not to make it out the door but to my surprise  at the arranged time he bounced down the stairs fully dressed, donned his ear defenders and walked to the car never once looking up at the sky for noisy aeroplanes. Once in the car , off came the ear defenders, a sign that he felt O.K and he chatted animatedly with his sister about what he would eat.
We had purposefully chosen to go at 2.00pm on the assumption it would be quieter. Despite this there was a ten minute wait. My son opted to choose his meals from the menu outside the door then he and my daughter went to the far corner of the cafe where it was quietest to wait whilst I ordered.
They were chatting happily when I came to sit down and as my daughter disappeared to the ladies my son said that he felt far happier because his sister was there to support him.
He ate his meal with gusto and then asked the time . It was 2.30. His lip started to wobble and when I asked him what the problem was he said that we had planned to buy a halloween costume but he had to get home for three as he had arranged to play on-line with his friend.
To maintain his sense of success I  abandoned our trip for halloween outfits and said I would do that the next day. I suggested that he tried to calm himself by reading a book on the way home and that is just what he did! He was so pleased at his achievement and realisation dawned that he wants to do so many things that he feels unable to do and that my job is to teese life skills into him slowly and carefully .

Battle of Britain revisited?

Will someone please tell the M.O.D. that my son doesn't like low flying planes? At the moment his dad is on a course and we are nearing the end of the second week. As the days have progressed my son's anxiety levels have increased and his tolerance to noise has decreased, resulting in 'autistic behaviours - wringing of hands, unable to speak, head banging and other repetitive behaviours that home education has largely eradicated.

Therefore having to spend an evening last night with my son shaking, wrapped in a duvet with his ear defenders on, was not what I had planned and I would have appreciated advanced notice that planes would be continuously flying overhead for an hour or so,

We are not unused to military exercise  They happen occasionally in this area. On one occasion I had to throw myself onto the ground at the top of the garden, so great was the noise as a jet appeared without notice from the skies. In fact I believe that something like this happened to my son in the first place to cause his fear of planes. I remember him running into the house like a frightened rabbit some months ago asking 'what that noise was'. I hadn't heard it myself but assumed it was a plane. In fact I probably wouldn't have noticed the aeroplanes last night although my son certainly wasn't the only one, reports were coming in thick and fast to our local newspaper!

Since the day my son was frightened he refuses to be left in the house by himself,hates going outside and constantly looks at the sky like Chicken Licken as though it is about to fall in and it has taken months to get anywhere near normality again.

So Mr Minister of Defence will you please take note that whilst we appreciate the need for your Air Force to train it would be courteous to let us know! Meanwhile in our efforts to lessen the fear we have read your website  www.mod.uk/DefenceInternet/AboutDefence/.../lowFlying/Share to educate ourselves about your arguments for low level flying over our beautiful countryside.