Thursday, 17 April 2014
A Difficult Decision - Aspergers,choosing and sharing
I remember when he was three or four years old we had an easter egg hunt in the garden. My son disappeared upstairs and after a while came back to play. When I asked him where he had put his eggs he said they were upstairs. Up I went and there on the bedroom floor was a myriad of discarded coloured foil wrappers which he had dropped on the floor.It never occurred to him to hide the evidence.
Sharing was a huge problem, it still can be but it's getting better. He could never envisage buying a larger bottle ofr drink in the shop because the cost was less, and sharing with his siblings, even though it would often mean he got the same amount or even more.He always had to have his 'own' bottle. Nowadays he will share but it doesn't occur to him to offer.You have to ask!
Choosing is a challenge too.In a sweet shop there were often too many different types of sweet on offer and he just shut down and couldn't decide. We learnt to give him the choice of two. Similarly in restaurants we try and get a menu beforehand so that he can make a choice before we go.We're not allowed to choose for him and I've slowly learned to NEVER make assumptions about what he might like.It doesn't work.He would rather sit without anything in front of him while you eat than eat anything you have dared to order but he hasn't asked for!
Anyway, you live and learn and it keeps you on your toes! If anyone has any similar challenges I would be pleased to hear them!