Living in a Cardboard Box

How many friends do you have who live in a cardboard box? That's what will happen to you apparently if you fail your English GCSE! It astounds me the pressure that teachers place upon their pupils in Years 10 and 11 and the worst thing is that they seem to believe it themselves.

I want to say to them "but what about Richard Branson, or Winston Churchill and Thomas Edison", but no matter how much I have tried to explain that I don't think good GCSE's necessarily make for a successful life (well not my idea of success anyway) it falls on deaf ears.

The frustrating thing is that actually these teachers represent a 'system' which has had an effect on them as much as on the pupils they teach.In a way they are right.If you are expecting to work for someone, get the Job centre to find you a job and want to earn pots of money then you will have to prove how good you are and if your potential boss has been through the state education system and succeeded academically then he is likely to look at your grades. 

Recently my son was looking through a list of apprenticeships. BMW were seeking apprentices and had strict conditions regarding the grades they required.I had no particular problem with that,in fact , I'm sure they have more than enough applicants from which to choose. What I did have a problem with was that the application form had nowhere to enter hobbies, interests and outside achievements.These I think are more revealing of the type of character you are interviewing than any test grade. I was left with the impression that the company must be very narrow minded.

Only the other day my sixteen year old son went to a garage with his dad and was talking to the company director during a test drive. He explained that he was about to start an apprenticeship in vehicle maintenance and repair. The company director said he was seeking an apprentice as he had already unsuccessfully employed three from the local college with no motivation or interest in cars.If my son found that his apprenticeship didn't work out then the garage owner was interested in employing him.That was purely on the basis of meeting my son a chatting to him about his interests.

The company director explained that in interviewing his employees he was looking for a) an interest in cars b) motivation and c) a qualification in motor vehicle maintenance, C was by far his lowest priority.

My son's new employer said the same at interview. They now employ a private firm to train their apprentices as they have found that the students from the local colleges often haven't the necessary practical skills they need.

So whilst I was very proud of my son when he accepted his GCSE certificates and educational vocational award on Thursday I am far prouder of his maturity and wisdom well beyond his 16 years and his determination to do his own thing rather than follow the crowd!

I will let you know Mr Teacher if my son  is living in a cardboard box as you predict at the end of the next academic year! I suspect that he will not although I wonder whether your perception of educational success will have changed. I do hope for the sake of all your future students that it has!

Put those school books in the bin!

Enjoy the sunshine-life is for living!

I opened the kitchen bin the other morning to find it full of school text books. GCSE's are not even over yet and my son has symbolically made his bid for freedom.

At his leaving assembly I cringed as one of his teachers warned the children that their whole future depended upon their GCSE results- what sort of stress I thought does that put on the children?

I have been surprised at just how calm and happy our household has been throughout my son's exams. Whilst I as a mother would have preferred him to do more revision, it is not my life and he has made the right decisions so far.

He is lucky because as Student of the Year he has secured his place at college for next year so the pressure is off .but it was he who had the wisdom and sense to 'hedge his bets' and cover all bases. Only he could put in the time and commitment to become Student of the Year - no one forced him. In fact one day when the teachers were on strike and school was closed he was furious because it was his college day and he thought it was jeopardised. He asked whether I would by.pass the system and drive him there in the absence of a school bus!

In contrast to the paucity of revision my son was sitting at the computer the other day submitting apprenticeship applications. Whilst there is no need for him to secure an apprenticeship for the course he wants to undertake it will give him options if he is offered one. At the very least it is giving him experience filling in applications and possibly being interviewed.

So don't despair- life goes on no matter what results you get. Life may take a different turn from the one you expect but that's what makes life a challenge and it's how you learn - which after all is what Education is all about ISN'T IT?

Take your chance and make your Choice!

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!
~ Hunter S. Thompson, “Gonzo“

Last night I was a very proud mum. My eldest received his student of the year award from the college he has attended from day release from school over the last two years.It wasn't the tool box he received, or the fact he chose to wear a suit and tie whilst most of his peers chose jeans and hoodies. It was the words of his tutor that made me swell with pride. My son was the person everyone turned to when they had a question.He had the capability to do anything he wanted to in his chosen field and he was well liked and popular by both staff and students.
I was proud because my son has made choices for himself  and has obviously made the right ones for him. He's gone with his gut instinct and is doing something he loves and it's paying off. He's happy and he isn't seeking to meet our expectations or impress his teachers- he is doing it for himself. He is mature and confident and he has set himself a goal!
I am lucky that he knows what he wants to do but home education has taught me a very important lesson.If you follow your interests you won't go far wrong- you need to take calculated risks, grab your opportunities and take a chance. A chance comment might be heard by the right person, an appearance may be noticed- nothing is wasted.
Only recently we talked about the importance of doing things willingly, without expectation of payment and with a smile.My son has secured himself some work experience over the holiday and is really looking forward to it- the experience he will gain will far exceed the value of any payment he will get. It will strengthen his already excellent social skills,enable him to study how a business is run in addition to enhancing his mechanical expertise.
Some may say he's just lucky. I would say you make your own luck. Well done son!

Learning to walk and Walking to Learn!

Rural life in better weather

Walking in the rain, on road surfaces in a hi viz jacket is not my idea of a walk in the Lake district but that's what I've been doing today as I train for the National Autistic Society C2B team. I planted an image of  "Death by Chocolate" and a cup of steaming coffee firmly in my mind and got my head down. It was too wet even to take photos so I savoured the Wood anenomes (which remained unfurled today because of the rain) , the view of Standing Tarn, the funny shack in the woods and wonderful place names like Dimple hole lane (in fact just looking up the name led me to this brilliant website on local walks http://www.explorelowfurness.co.uk) and I reluctantly decided I would just have to return when the sun was shining to take my pictures!
The C2B is now only 20 days away and I was surprised not to meet more people.Throughout the duration of my 12 mile walk I came across 5 walkers! I've learned a lot throughout the last 4 months. It'd been a long while since I'd really walked for pleasure. For years, school commitments and after school activities got in the way of 'me time' . then we had hospital appointments, statement reviews, autism meetings and finally a diagnosis of Aspergers .With that came anxieties and reluctance to leave the house and, for a few months, a resistance to letting me leave either.
Walking has finally given me some freedom, freedom to be me, to revel in the countryside where I'm happiest, watching the birds, learning about the flowers, people watching,  meeting and talking to interesting people ( the best teachers in the world for home educated kids) and time to take my photographs.
I am being home educated just as much as my son. It took me a long time to realise that if we open our eyes and minds we will always learn. I am constantly noticing, buildings, plants, animals or place names and having to come home and google them because I'm inquisitive to find out more. 
Walking has made me fitter too! Not for me gyms and swimming pools. I enjoy the isolation of walking alone and being at one with the world.
My friend completed the London Marathon today. It was a fantastic achievement and it made my little 12 miler seem insignificant until I realised I have never walked 12 miles before in my life , never, ever, ever, ever. My achievement was in fact every bit as great as hers because at the ripe old age of 50 I had achieved something new!
That's why home education is so empowering, it's why Michael Gove is wrong when he says that the school day should be longer and holidays should be shorter. It's because learning actually takes place mostly at home not in school as he seems to believe.It's a question of mind set. If you keep an open mind you will always continue to learn. If you have your mind 'closed' by school then when you come home you won't want to learn anything that seems remotely educational. It's probably why so many 'educational books' remain pristine and end up untouched in the charity shops!
Anyway having whiled away 12 miles mulling over life, politics and pschology I finished my walk and sat quietly for a moment with my chocolate cake and black coffee among the ruins of Furness Abbey and realised how lucky I am!

The times they are a Changin'

Looking back over the last twelve years I can reflect on how things have changed both in my attitude towards Autism and in my son's way of dealing with it.

Back in the year 2000 when my son and daugter were born I knew nothing about the condition. In fact I remained blissfully unaware of it for the next four years until my son started school. At first I thought his diffivulties settling in were due to him being an August baby. If I'd been told it was possible I would have held them back for a year as they missed a whole year at home which their older brother had been able to spend with me because he was old in his year, In retrospect it wouldn't have made a great deal of difference but it would have given my autistic son a year more of being happy in his own skin.

School showed him he was different, teachers described a child I didn't recognise, one who wouldn't sit with the other children, didn't like the playground because it was too noisy and got angry to the point of running away from school.

At the age of five it's difficult for a child to explain how he feels and sadly for us the school didn't tell us the truth .After meetings with educational pschycologists, home school books and constantly being cornered by teachers every night at school when I went to pick up the children from school . the stress of school started to spill over into home life and when I finally found my little boy in the kitchen pinching his arms and hitting his head I decided no more.......

Home education didn't cure everything but it did give us space and time to understand one another and I'm still learning. I clearly remember my son regressing to a 'baby voice'. It drove me mad at the time but I recognize now he was stressed and. several years on he doesn't do it .In fact I'd forgotten about the episode until someone reminded me on a forum the other day.

There was night after night of  'wanting to be dead'. It was heart breaking and I didn't know what I could do to help. We both know now not to talk but to sit quietly together whilst I give my son an Indian head massage as it relaxes him and seems to 'unlock his brain' so that he can think straight. Thank fully thoses episodes are behind us, at least for now!

Then there was my need to control him  versus his opposition to anything I requested. It caused a lot of arguments and I felt like a terrible mother. Having accepted him for whom he is and realising he doesn't need to do things just because society expects it has made a huge difference to our relationship and there are far less arguments.

With age comes maturity too. We have been through periods when my son has been unable to leave the house and has refused to let me leave. Times when he has lain down on the floor in the supermarket overwhelmed by the sound and light and unable to move. Times when he has screamed and sworn at me in the carpark because I diverted slightly from our original plan and he couldn't cope. I won't say it has always been easy but I do know that  the bumpy road of Autism  has involved climbing mountains and running down valleys.. Lifes challenges have subtley changed and what once posed a problem pales into insignificance or is absorbed into 'normal' family life as you adapt.

The message I'm trying to get across to those having a hard time of it at the moment is that  things change and it won't be like this for ever. It's a bit like a worried parent of a toddler being reassured that 'he won't be doing it at 18', although with an autistic child there are no such time scales.Children mature at different rates and children with Aspergers tend to be a few years behind their peers with many living skills.

At the moment the main challenges in our house are food, insomnia and reluctance to go out. The first is a sensory problem, the second two more to do with anxiety I think. We are however riding the waves. Our son seems happy, there is no anger or sadness and we are managing to work round it so that family is content.

Our Day off!

Yesterday the children were off school again. This time it was my decision as the snow started just before I was due to take the children to the school bus.The snow drifts are still by the sides of the road leaving single lanes in many places and the roads were becoming slippery making the fell route to school lethal. With no pavements if the road became blocked the children could easily become stranded as many motorists were , just up the West coast over the weekend.

As a non working mum I now have the luxury of making such a decision without the feeling of guilt that I am letting work colleagues down.Years ago I would have been worried about the detrimental effect on the childrens' education by having a day off. I no longer believe the government statistics and propaganda  As a home educator I know that the children learn just as much at home ,it may not be the subjects upon which they are being tested but they are gaining the ability to think for themselves.

My daughter sat down and began to draft out an English essay she is preparing for school.Without the distractions of assembly and break she completed the task much quicker than she would have done at school. In fact that's often the case with home education. What takes a lesson at school can often take ten minutes at home. She then turned her hand to spatter painting and had a great time painting my floor (oh and the paper)

In the afternoon her friend (whose parents had also decided against taking the risk of the school bus) came round and they asked whether they could use our Chemistry kit. They set it up in the kitchen and broke the surface tension on water by putting washing up liquid inside and then successfully completed an experiment their teacher had done unsuccessfully at school with food colouring and hot water which you can see here! The food colouring rose to the top showing heat rises.

Meanwhile my eldest prepared a job application and CV letter. He wants to do Motor sports and hopes to get more experience in Motor vehicle maintenance before he starts his level 2 course at college next year.
As the main road to our nearest town was clear then he also went with his dad to the Fire station for a couple of hours to learn about his dad's work doing risk assessments on public buildings.He came back with a much better idea of the work involved. When he was little and his dad rode the pump he used to sit in the driving seat of the Fire engines and try the sirens. Now he was learning about the legal implications of not conforming the the health and safety building regs!

We are really proud of him.Whilst not being an academic he is growing into a mature and sensible young man who knows what he wants to do and is prepared to go for it.Only yesterday he was awarded his Diamond Queens scout award.Scouting has given him so many opportunities and the cost has been negligible  Simply completing his CV showed us how much he has achieved. Currently he is undertaking a leadership course and is planning to go to camp in Austria in the summer!

Once again I was reminded about the effectiveness of home education when I got a phone call from his D.T teacher saying the class is rapidly running out of time to complete their D.T projects and is my son available during the Easter holidays to come in for the day? My son doesn't mind at all, in fact he has already been staying voluntarily after school to work on his project but it's a harsh reminder of the pressure being place on the teachers and pupils to 'achieve well ' in their GCSE'S in order to succeed in life!

As my son told his teacher one day- his GCSE's results will bear no relation on how successful he will be. He will do his best but if that's not good enough- well he intends to work for himself anyway and any work experience he gets he will happily do for free to show how motivated he is so the grades on his CV will have little to do with how he gets on. I wonder who told him that?.........

Home is the base for Education.

Our school

Although I have opted to home educate only one of my children home education  is far from being my second choice. For me home education has become a liberating experience and  has freed me up from an obsession with good grades at school and not being able to procure a job without them. The major reason my other two children go to school is that they need time away from their Autistic brother, time when they can be themselves rather than carers and time when they can form their own friendships and interests away from home. For a short while I had two children at home,it was an easy choice and one which I would have no trouble making again if necessary. My eldest son was unhappy at school, there were signs of underlying bullying which were not being dealt with and my son was frequently being sent home from school due to being 'unwell'. For a son who has a 100% attendance record things didn't ring true so we opted to remove him from school for a year.Only the other day I asked him what he had learned from the experience. He was able to spend lots of time practicing his drums each day and he is now an accomplished player. He matured and experienced 'real life' and he was given load of opportunity to make new friends both through scouts and Young Carers which introduced him to climbing, indian cookery, kite surfing, camping skills and all manner of activities which he was unlikely to have much access to at school.
Home education gave us a breathing space to establish the right learning enviroment for my son. It became clear however that his brother required so much one to one that my eldest was having to place second fiddle and we considered ways in which he could 'learn' other than at home with me. One of the options was to use a tutor. We certainly went and talked to one but personality played an important part in our son's learning . We wanted vibrant , enthusiastic tutors, un fettered by the 'system' and we found instead disillusioned teachers who had removed themselves from the system in order to 'teach' in what we felt was a typically 'schooley' way. Our second opportunity was a small secondary school in the lakes with just over 200 pupils. My son was offered the chance to spend a fortnight there to see how he like it. He was not committed to stay but he agreed that a fortnight would give him time to get a feel  for the place. Within days it was obvious that he felt at home, the number of children suited him and the ability to offer the children opportunities as individuals was soon evident . He went from an unhappy lad in a huge main stream school to one with a huge social circle of like minded friends, to a school where outings were frequent and where extra curricular courses such as out door pursuits centres , planting trees for the Diamond Jubilee and catering at a local school were available. The school was still subject to the constraints of the national curriculum but my son is happy and knows its limitations. He is also fully aware that he has what it takes to succeed and has become confident in his abilities and opinions regardless of peer pressure. His grades don't matter, the fact that he tries his best does. This year he has opted to go to college one day a week to study Motor engineering and he has identified the type of learning environment that suits him best. Not for him sixth form college with its A levels and academic subjects, vocational courses are more relevant and motivational to him. He has got his own car which he is working on at home and a trials bike and reads everything mechanical in his spare time, his catering skills far outstrip those of his peers, he will be perfectly able to fend for himself when he leaves home! Our home is where he is 'educated', school is the campus where he is educated 'off site".