I was worried that the Education authority would find my teaching 'inadequate' and force him back into school which had the most damaging effect on his health and self esteem. My own anxiety made it worse, he felt the pressure and his anxiety rose - even less work got done.
I would wake up every morning drained and dreading the day - what would it bring? Would I end up stressed and disillusioned after battling with him for hours?
I don't know what brought me to my senses but at some point I realised it wasn't working and that it wasn't my fault- it hadn't worked at school either. I began to observe my son. All the advice said to follow his interests. That made perfect sense- it just wasn't what happened at school.
I began to see my son relax.I watched him as he picked up books to read, watched films, chose history strategy games and minecraft,read by researching new games and learned new things by reading wiki and watching You Tube. It was a Revelation.
He asked my why the sky was blue, what were stocks and shares? The recent bombings in Maine were where the Boston tea party took place,Obhama was the first black president, Thatcher the first woman prime minister. None of this was 'taught'.It was absorbed into every day living. I discovered that my twelve year old had a general knowledge that the average 12 year old in a secondary school would never have covered and he could link it across the curriculum.He couldn't understand why the other day his sister had learned a particular subject for history when in fact in his eyes it was history, geography, maths to name but a few - all rolled into one. His pronouncement when we replied that it was how they did it at school was that school was 'stupid'.I didn't try to correct him.
Like all systems, the Education system only works if you fit. It's inflexible and cumbersome,unable to match the needs of individuals- it's behind the times and worst of all it is directed by politicians who have never known anything else and who have come out of the system inflexible and unable to think outside of the box. Stealth education may not 'look' like education but in fact parents have to observe their children far more and get to know them far more so that they can 'facilitate' an interest with books and games and trips. If you are interested in stealth learning I found this blog the other day.It was nice to know I was not alone! http://buffalomama.wordpress.com/2013/05/06/you-might-lead-a-horse-to-water/
This is the story of my life! Thanks for the reassurance that we are not alone...!
ReplyDeleteIt's not easy going with your gut instinct sometimes is it? I'm sure though that it's because we do that our children learn. If they were at school they would spend most of their time in isolation or outside the classroom (and the government call that education!)
ReplyDeletemy daughter is scooby doo obsessed but after watching the cartoons and films many times with her I have noticed how much educational content is covered in them she has learnt so much.
ReplyDeleteI found that The Simpsons was the same when I actually sat down and watched it with my son.I sometimes think we judge things as 'non educational' far too quickly!
ReplyDeleteHi, I've only just discovered your blog but this perfectly describes what happens in our house! My son is only 10 and been out of school for just over a year, and it very much a case of learning by stealth - he still rejects anything that looks at all like "school"! It's good to know we're not alone!
ReplyDeleteIt takes a while to realise that when school says that they have never ever seen a child as oppositional as yours that it's not true! (That's obviously why so many of us are home educating) Good luck with the home education Rachel- my son will NEVER EVER go back into the school system!
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree so much with this piece. I think my son is stealth educating me too, but actually he is simply sharing the good things he finds with me and I take as much of it as I can manage. We have both learnt to be relatively gracious about saying "Thanks, but no thanks" to suggestions. I think not having an agenda is very helpful, so then the things we share with each other are from the heart and very spontaneous. There is a lot of "Come quickly, there is a huge bumble bee in the other room".
ReplyDeleteThank you for leading me here from the HE special site, I will be observing my son and seeing where it leads...
ReplyDeletethanks again for taking the time to offer support, it was much needed and very helpful.
You are very welcome Wendy- remember you are NEVER alone- the HE special website is exactly that - special.The people are caring and supportive and I have always found them to be non judgmental. Home education isn't easy but especially when your child is autistic and unless you live with an autistic person you will never understand just how inflexible they can be.
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